crap

At the end of the day.

Crushed will be the mind the more you think

If you don’t do so it will eventually sink

Sink you will anyways maybe ignorance or revelation

All you will need is nudge in either direction

Ignorance would lead you to a path that would make for a hollow life

Revelation would lead you to a path that would be riddled with internal strife

Either way you are done for, as your mind will bleed

You will plant one of those seed

You are already dead though, what’s the point if you do read?

Beauty, Justice, Happiness…what makes you pay heed?

Even if you do end up getting it do you really think you will be able to proceed?

Or will you just become hollow, like a zombie moving ahead as decreed?

Life in solitude or social prominence all ending in one way or the other

In the end all will be smothered by nature mother.

– Anup

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Overdose.

My words are sometimes in wide demand because i am a man of very few words i shoot to kill.As if i think it through…all might not be well as you want it to be i am a sad sad person with a bad bad perception critically premature & verbally immature.Too much a part of me screams “too much! you have made me suffer.No more shall i stand this torture bring on the horror of uncertainty,now suffer eternally!”

Life gets tough i go back to my old ways of materialism… wasting money on things i don’t need yet do crave increasing worlds surplus of  obesity one measly calorie at a time.Promoted to do drugs by the worlds but i indulge in the drug of overdose high fructose corn syrup a new yet good ol’ kind of high one that god approves of unlike that smack of nicotine or a hit of that joint.

Yo don’t try this at home or else!

Or else!? Or else!? What can i do?

Nothing,nothing at all.

That is because I am but a minuscule part of this grand design called the planet earth.

Some times i just compare my ant size problems to that of the world and hate myself even more.

One of these days i wish to get over it.Untill then bare with me or else fuck off to your oblivious utopian world.

Peace out!

inconsiderate world?

is this an inconsiderate world or is it just the inability of people to take a joke?

we have a decent and healthy life but at the end of the day all we are doing is ferreting over the small stuff and shortening our life day in day out we might as well part take in a some sort of stupid conversation upon a minuscule subject or even a joke and how it affects him or her but after all the words all we have is wasted time that we are never going to get back no mater how much we struggle, no matter how wealthy we are, no matter how healthy we are.Its just another whimsical try to pass the time along that we don’t posses in the first place we need to be happy with what we have insides no need to express it just have an awareness and if it helps count your blessings and move on.

A joke isn’t going to reduce your quality of life you don’t let it,if you keep ferreting over it then its your loss of what little time you have just be happy you can be a part of some other persons happiness for once in your miserable life.Don’t get offended things that don’t affect you immediate quality of life,because if this is all there is to your life then its not a life its only you getting offended…over what? over what!? i say!

if we look at it this blog post was a poor decision.

sorry…

Hoping to awaken…

Happiness means not a thing in this world of ours either only be contempt or grey there is not room for gayness unless gay means homosexual. You can either be happy with what you have or be a model for economics which says humans have unlimited wants. Granted people can be happy with what they have but is that true happiness? Or is it just a young boy’s wet dream? Who knows maybe we are all unreal & all this is, is a wet dream of what a poor guy wants maybe this is all he can dream of even though it is so grand yet it is so faded.

Sometimes I just sit and think, think & think till I’ve overdone it and lost the initial thought that I had. And when I’m not thinking I am blank like a vessel waiting for some thoughts to fill me up because that is all I have because everything else is material it won’t last it is here now but no one knows of its whereabouts for tomorrow. In summary  I would say that thoughts  are the only thing that are yours well at least that’s what I think but yet I cannot help but look around and observe that it is not, it is as much of a materialistic possession as this body which is taken for granted. Our thoughts are influenced almost every fraction of the second of our waking life we have preconception no matter what and we are influenced by our mundane activities and everyday social interaction.

I am a mock epic of some person’s dream.

I am not eccentric but a self-cantered prick.

I live in a paradise which is lost,

I cost a lot but yet I refuse to smoke pot

Cause I am the enigmatic crack pot.

This isn’t placed to procure self-pity,

But to display how life tends to get gritty,

Shameless how I live my life with any gratefulness

Mocking of a life I have made that was just a dream.

story without any glory.

when i write i’m wrong

when i’m wrong i write.

 

So here i am writing this blog like a broken clock going through the motion 2 clicks at a time.

Reading Dr. Faustus was quite fun…i don’t think the same will be the out come for Mr. Congreve’s way of the world as it is in fact too mature for my pitiless immaturity…my inconsiderate crudity towards my peers as they cry jeers of tyranny due to sheer joy conformity and herd mentality… crudity bestowed upon generations yet to come last an eternity…sheer absurdity…

Time for revamp?

Time for revamp?

Indeed.

I really need to get back to it.
It being bloging obviously…(thats a word right?).

Well, after that long bunch months i bet you folk’s been waiting for that sad boy bull crap that i used to put out right?
To be perfectly honest who wouldn’t? well, shit you know you want it? don’t you? well i’m sure i get one or two reader? perhaps no…

So,yeah the revamp…I am planing to become like a proper writer in the future now so yeah i do see this blog thing as a good platform to plot out ideas & what not…& maybe i might end up writing myself to the other side.

With your support,why the hell not!?(yes,you the one who reads & doesn’t leave critique or comments)

Well anyways i am going to begin from tomorrow…if you want me to write on a topic then hand me(virtually) the topic of your choice on twitter @MentalCrtique or leave a comment on this post

With love,
~Anup

week 10,11 & 12 : i’ve been slacking

as the title suggests i have been slacking quite a bit be it my blog or my studies.

most of the first & second week were spent getting in the best shape possible for the teachers day celebration & also by gaming i guess finished 2/4 campaign on Left 4 dead since then i along with my brother completed the game from front to back 4/4 & then i bought him Left 4 dead 2 so we can play later , hopefully not this week as i have tests coming up gotta cram some stuff in so i’ll get 15-20 marks at least as i have not touched the books for a while now ,only my history book for a little while that is.

also been having shin splints due to the exercises done before teachers day since then there has been a big dent in my workout as i cannot do cardio with the same amount of strength. i have lost a lot of body fat though but i am unable to follow through to keep it down.

after all this i have also watched a shit load of zombie movies such as dawn of the dead (new & old) , diary of the dead , shaun of the dead etc. still a lot to watch.

made some stuff on photoshop which you can see at my deviant art account.

i was thinking of writing a story or something recently but due to the lack of time i might not follow through.

anyways that’s about it.
will see ya later 🙂
~Anup

Week 9: Plain ol’ Bored

As the title says all last week was , was boring.

Things that usually go through a regular week happen , happened. Teachers gave me home work i didn’t do said home work i got scolded & i came back home slightly sad.I was mostly sleepy throughout the week due to the fact that i have managed to mess up my sleep cycle once again also my pain’s etc. of course.

Protested against the damn homework system in our school amongst peers & amongst social networking sits such as Facebook & Twitter.

Also came across this video :

other than that i’ve been watching some documentaries by Dawkins.
like this one :


just surprised(even raged) at the people of religion not even believing the theory of evolution.

that’s about how it all went , i guess in conclusion after blocking out the school bullshit i can say that it all went fairly decent.

Goodbye until next time i guess,
~Anup

Week 5 : Feeling Of Shit.

Hello there,
This week has brought me down a bit , maybe it was due to what happened last week or it is the lack of direction in my life.

I feel like giving up. I feel like i have no reason , no meaning to my life. I often end up asking myself “what am i doing ?” or “whats the point?” & i have no real answer.

My self image is really starting to deteriorate for some reason. I have felt almost similar to this quite a few times , almost every time it just faded away & i moved on to search for a purpose for my life , for a aim , for something at least. But now due to the fact i have been in this sort of rut before i don’t even know anymore…

I feel like my life is totally fucked even though when i think about it it has barely begun , i mean I am only 17…right?

I certainly don’t feel comfortable with my body & i have tried to change it but been out for a week due to a back injury & then i put on about 2-3 kg’s which took like forever to remove from my body which placed me in a position where i have nothing much to do as i haven’t really got many friends that i am really deep with. All i really have to do is go on & think about what i wanna do with my life as i feel like i am wasting it all away due to the fact that all i do all day is sit on my ass either in front of the computer or lay on the bed after taking my medication. All i feel is self pity , I really don’t know if i can handle myself very well. I have even become what i hate the most , I might have have turned into a hater & a cynic as i hate sometimes on other peoples happiness but i say i am not bothered by them , I am not presenting myself as such but i am inside filled with anger & hate.

thanks for reading my blog , though i am sorry if i killed your buzz or something.
~Anup