Met a professor while getting my admit card after months as I had stopped going to college for a while, and the conversation that followed was pure unadulterated bullshit.
I told her I’ve been depressed for a while and after I got over that I made a conscious decision to not partake in the farce that is considered academia, most of my peers agree with me that the professors are not doing their jobs right, courses are poorly structured, and basics like a decent amount of reference books and course books are not made available in the libraries, I have brought up these issues with the philosophy departments teachers, I even went as far as drawing up a list of books that have been prescribed in our syllabus to one of the professors at one point but nothing was done to rectify the situation.
Most of the students who have asked the professors to do a little leg work and make basic things available to them have been sidelined on more than one occasion, we don’t get any options or say in what we study, no one asks the students even though there are options in the syllabus, we’re not given a choice or even told what we’re really in for and randomly thrown to the deep end of a subject without any interest in them. She calls me a pessimist, I say its not that hard to put two and two together and see the world for what it really is and not be depressed or pessimistic. I say there is a lack of reform, she calls me a pessimistic and angry, I say “teaching is poorly done” , she says “why didn’t you say anything in class instead of disappearing?”, I say “what do you think I was trying to do in the past two years?”.
I was present for everything, gave all the assignments despite the poor infrastructure provided. I wanted feedback on my work, they provided me with nonsense like how much should you write and how little I am writing or nothing at all most of the time, good marks in internal assessment don’t explain what I did right or wrong. On top that she kept asking me why I’m depressed, I was like, its a disease I don’t know why depression chose me, but it wasn’t sudden, it was a long time coming…I guess it was the constant shit sandwich that I was being fed, and in essence it was the people undermining me at multiple level, and a system that is deceptive and a bloody joke.
My only and true fault is that I wanted a dignified response to the whole situation, some action taken perhaps, maybe some accountability, then I was told I’m a pessimist and to just look for the silver lining of things like a numbskull. I say Fuck that, and fuck academia, especially the one that exists in India. Call me a pessimist and leave me to rot, that’s your thing anyway.