Lets get it over with.

In the wake of dread lay my mind unable to comprehend what might come next, it keeps me up shit keeps me up lack of direction keep me stuck in a rut. I go deeper I find out that it is infarct quagmire, not a crossroad. Figuring out the meaning of life is a mere obscurity now I cannot figure out what this mind has in-store for me now. I feel bipolar; one moment everything is narly in a moment which turns into gnarly. I don’t see it. I don’t see what I saw years ago. That drive is lost. That driver is lost, this is an unmanned vehicle now interact at your own risk. 


Lets get it over with I say lets get out while we have something, while some of the sweet nectar of nostalgia is still present. Why, Oh why do I wish to do the same thing over and over. Getting my hopes up and then crumbling them like wafer. I can’t remember why I decided to change myself in the first place. Tried to make more of an effort to be a member of the mainstream why the reinvention when all I was going to do later was throw it away right into the drain like it meant nothing. But I guess it didn’t mean much since I forgot about it. Yes, I am talking about me. I forgot about me. I lost me. I had a gimps of me and it was too much. I could’ve been something but I didn’t want it. Why should I want it. After all it is just me. What have I done for me since? If I say me some more perhaps it will be meaningless.


Fuck me. Fuck everything about me.


PS : I will post rest of my depression stage paragraphs/blog posts after this one.


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