Introspection : Am i good enough?

Short intro :

I hope you fellas like a person talking to himself because i present to you how I felt recently due to lack of sleep and lack of social interaction. I started writing this on the 6th last month and only got through my insomnia to finish it.

Hope y’all like it!

Am i good enough?

Look at what we have here a kid who’s trying to play victim in this world that looks sick to him. His mind is full of sorrow, thinking about things that don’t even matter is how he passes his morrows.He keeps on thinking…thinking about the things he could have recalculated,the things could,would,or should happen.What he couldn’t focus on was the fact that the time has passed, it was never to be seen again.He needs to rise up.Fall in line to fall again.

He needs to forgive and forget. let bygones be bygones, just dust it all off and start again.You just have to try one more time…and again and again and again until your face envision’s that decent smile or grin. That is so because we all know you have to go through the motions to get back at it again. Buck up, Chin up, look forward to what you can and face the facts that this second you just wasted on hollow sorrows is now dead and soon before you know it you will be too…”life’s too shot” mate you have to come through.

You say that but do you have any facts to back that up? Will i not anyways end up turning to dust? Will i not be forgotten eventually, and who’ll carry my legacy…if i ever manage to make something of myself that is? What if i step out into this tumultuous universe and all i get out of it is regret and shame. All you give is false hope sir! do NOT mislead this poor man as a false prophet. Hasn’t he been through enough? Haven’t you shamed this man enough? Please let this man wallow in self-hatred and disease. Let him do things as he pleases. Do not interfere with what this man intends to do and let him end it. End the disdain that he gains. End the constant tussle within to win this fight. The fight to feel pain no more. The fight to exert nothing awful to displease the senses. End this and you will see a service done to mankind.

Blasphemy! Death only brings more pain and disdain to the universe. Think. Just for a second. Then let it go because this idea will only bring destruction to the ideas of highly concentrated thoughts and ideals that you hold. They need to be herd only then will your work be done, that will be your legacy. Only then you can let go of that last bit of breath that keeps you physically abled. Take the high road and hold the sanctimonious high ground. For you know what you are made of . You need to make more presentable. You need to take care. Of yourself and your fellow being. As that’s all you have. All you will ever have. All anyone will ever have for that matter of fact. Everyone feels hollow  once in a while. You just need to be out in the open more upright like the homo sapiens and be a upright guy.

End note : 

Please don’t be concerned after reading that. I tried to end on a positive note. So, i could give the impression that i am alright now and that rough patch of my life is over(for now at least) and i am trying to move on  now to better  tomorrow.

~Anup

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