Week 7-8 : just shoot me already…

hey ho!
Didn’t get the time to put up a update on last week , so here goes another joint post for two weeks.

Week 7 was pretty much a blur. only thing worth mentioning is the fact that i went to school for the whole week as i challenged myself to do a full weeks attendance in school just to see if i like it or not…
so all i achieved last week was a whole weeks attendance , no pleasure & a shit load of pain.

No onto last week : the highlight of last week was that i took Friday & had a school holiday on Saturday so what i got was a 3 day weekend which i used to study/finish the first book of history. I think the isolation this put me into was extraordinary as i barely even got out my room let alone the house.This i realize just today as i built up a shit ton of anger & unknowingly unleashed it upon my mother , this was due to the isolation plus a extraordinary amount of pressure that was just thrown at me along with too much bullshit.

Only positive thing i got out of the past few days is that my back is getting better but as soon as i spend a day in the school i end up fucking my back up due to the fact that the school doesn’t have benches with any lumbar support.

I seriously feel burnt out right about now,to cool down i didn’t study word one today & just try to chill/play games.I feel like drooping out of this session even, because of multiple reasons but i don’t know…should i ? can i ? can my parents afford it ? can i handle it, it being the humiliation , the what if question & the time that will be lost ?

The biggest problem of all is that i have no aim in life that i am driven to achieve , also the cynicism of course.

well y’all probably have decent life to get to so i guess until next Monday , its farewell.
~Anup

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